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06 August 2012 @ 10:00 pm
An Open Letter...  
So I had another post that I was going to make. Truthfully, it stayed open for about 4 days because I just couldn't finish writing it. For some reason, it didn't sound right, and it didn't end the way I wanted it to.

And then I got to thinking. Thinking about what I really wanted to say, what I really wanted to put out there. I've kept my words to myself for the past 2 weeks mostly because it still carries a small twinge of pain for me because of my own personal life.

I was recently cheated on. But I won't get into that (or the failure of my own relationship)...I'm going to stick to this idea that I have. I know she'll never see it or read it, but I'm going to say it anyway.

And no, it's not negative, so if that's what you're looking for, you can leave now. I seriously have a zero tolerance for negativity at this point. It does nothing for no one. The only way this is going to be okay is if you stay positive and support them. See that icon up there? Yeah, do that.

My dearest K,

I'm not really quite sure how to even begin. My feelings towards what happened are the same as most people, yet so very different. I am frustrated and confused still even after two weeks, but I want you to know this -- I still love you. Bottom line, that will never change. I still believe in you. This has just brought to light what's been true all along, what we seemingly forgot along the way -- that you're only human. You make mistakes. This one was huge, detrimental and life altering, but it was still just a mistake.

I'm not excusing anything, let me be clear. It was wrong, so wrong on so many levels. I don't understand it and I probably never will, but that doesn't really matter. I'm not a part of it, it's your life. Your reputation, your image, your future -- please remember that. And please, please, please fight for what you want.

All I can say to you now is stay strong. Surround yourself with people who love you and let them help you. Some people don't believe the apology you gave, but I do. For someone so private to say something like that took courage. To basically throw yourself to the lions, all to make sure that one person truly understood, that takes guts.

I couldn't find forgiveness in my heart. Maybe it was because it wasn't the first time he had done this to me, maybe it was because we have children, maybe it was because he won't apologize, I'm not quite sure. All I know is that I couldn't do it. But I think Rob can. He's hurt, I know you know that. Time is all you can give him right now. Just don't give up. He knows you better than anyone, he knows the truth. And whatever that may be, he needs time to process.

He could come to you tomorrow, or it could be next week or next month. I don't know what he'll say or what he'll do, but I do know that whatever it is, it'll come from his heart. He still loves you so very much. The kind of love you two have doesn't just disappear. Even if this goes the way we all hope it doesn't, he'll still love you, that will never change.

I can only imagine how angry you are with yourself right now. I'm not saying that to be cruel, I'm saying that because I know it must be true. The apology speaks volumes. For me, it only verified what I know is true -- that you're devastated, and that you fully regret what you did. As private as you are, you wouldn't have apologized if you hadn't meant it. I hope he sees that. I hope he realizes that apologies like that don't come as often as we think they do. I hope he sees the woman he's loved for the past 5 years, not the person the media has made you out to be.

If you take anything from this, please just know that there are people who still love you. People who still support you, people who will stand by you no matter what and want nothing more than to see the two of you happy again. You made a mistake, but you're only human. That doesn't excuse it, but it sure as hell doesn't give people permission to drag you through the mud like they've been doing. This is a time where I wish the media truly didn't exist, so that the two of you could try to work this out without millions of people watching your every move.

I hope that this turns out the way you want it to, we all do. But however it goes, I think the thing we all hope for most of all is that the two of you find peace, whether it's together or apart.

Just remember who you are, and remember that he loves you still despite all of this. And try to remember that somehow, someway, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end ♥

All my love,

mood.: okayokay
music.: I Won't Give Up -- Jason Mraz
Kate: RK VMAs sitting in audiencekate_stew on August 7th, 2012 07:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks for this bb. I'm right there with you. I've been drafting my own entry as well, and haven't posted yet.

For someone so private to say something like that took courage.

Agreed. Her apology actually made me feel better in the moment, because it was so heartwrenching and real. It gave me hope :)
Amanda: Kristen new EW shootshakeityourway on August 13th, 2012 07:20 pm (UTC)
Really sorry to hear about your marriage, love. But this post is utterly perfect.